she kept yelling 'call me bella'
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
