thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
