i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
