So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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