Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
