when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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