So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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