Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize