He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
