I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
