I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
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