I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
A bitchslap is in order.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
