So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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