I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
