I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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