just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize