yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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