Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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