Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Girls should come with a carfax report
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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