My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
