Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
