Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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