Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
