Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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