Me too!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
