Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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