What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
