I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
