I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you win again, gameday.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize