I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
