I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
