Plan B is the new Plan A
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
