Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
