then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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