why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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