she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
3pm strippers are depressing
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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