Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize