Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
