boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
