I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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