Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
