i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
