shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
