Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
