I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
