I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
