im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Randomize
