yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize