garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
