Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
