Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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