well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
