I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
