Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
