he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
