just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
