fuck your aforementioned shoe
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
