i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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