I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize